You might be able to added a second factory switch above the original and wire it for the aux lights. You'll have to cut the opening in the panel, but the mounting bracket should already be there.
I opted to use the relay in the below diagram as a low current control for the higher current relay mounted in the engine compartment. This way you can tap the cig lighter for power for the switch and control relay keeping everything nicely tucked behind the panel and only run one wire out to the engine compartment. The headlight feed (HL) can be taped from the original switch term 5.
Not sure about the wiring colors you listed. My 2001 ETM shows them as follows:
pin 1 not used
pin 2 not used
pin 3 (LB/BK) fog lamp switch to front fog lamp relay (ground control for factory fog lamp relay coil)
pin 4 (BK) ground
pin 5 (LB/RD) power hot with headlamps on (cluster panel illumination feed)
pin 6 (TN/OG) fog lamp switch to front fog lamp (switch on indicator lamp)
Note the relay shown is a SPDT but a SPST will also work.