Well- I think I fried something important
So I just got back from some time overseas, and my 1999 Ranger has been idling for about 9 months. I went to reconnect the battery and start her up to get her moving, and something strange happened.
The Horn blares, Both Turn Signals are illuminated on the front and rear of the vehicle (Solid, no strobe) The Wipers, and Fluid Pumps are Going, all the Dash Lights are Illuminated and The Starter Motor Spins, but the engine doesn't turn over. Additionally, none of the internal controls are working, save for the headlight ****.
I tested all the fuses in the engine compartment, but I don't have a way to test the Relays right now- For some reason, I can't test any of the fuses in the passenger compartment with my test light- even with a confirmable good ground, I get nothing.
I worry that due to the climate in the Garage where I was storing it, one of my ground connections shorted and I zapped something important.
Does anyone know what the problem is or where I can start to troubleshoot this?