Decided to make a seperate post so you can all enjoy my misery. This is a long story, so be ready for a read.
As some know, I was heading over for a Meet with the guys over in WA. I left here at about 7:15 AM, and I was making fantastic time. I took I-90 most of the way over, averaging about 70 MPH, and getting about 17 MPG's, which was fine with me. I stopped a total of three times thus far, and the trip so far was only costing me about $35 in gas and food. Rice cakes are definitely FTW!
So, I just got off of I-90 at....Ellensburg, I believe, and was getting on Highway 97 heading north towards Highway 2.
Heading up Bluet Pass, I was making really good time. Got stuck behind a slow truck, and tried to pass, when I heard a loud clang, and the truck started running terrible. I pull over, and start messing with stuff, but the truck is still crapping out. So I shut it off, and start thinking of options. No cell service, so I start radioing truckers. Nobody answers. Well, the only other option other then to continue on to Levanworth was to hitchhike, and I wasn't about to leave my truck in BFE, so I went on.
Got off Bluet, and got on Highway 2, pulled over at a Park and Ride, and started phoning my parents and sis. Dad says it might be my brake booster line, because my brake assist wasn't working for ****. Started playing with vacuum hoses, and noticed that it was sputtering against my hand.
Well, with the truck running, I realized that I shut the door. My passenger side is always locked, and lately, my drivers side randomly locks. No big deal, I had a hide a key on the truck. So I unlocked the truck, and set my hide a key down on the console, took the door unlock key off my keyring, and started fiddling with stuff.
I can't think of **** on what may be the cause other then possibly throwing a rod due to the clanging sound. So, I call the sister, and ask if she knows of mechanics. She finds one in Levanworth (4 miles from the current location), so I head out there.
First guy I go to was a complete tool. My guess, ex- or current crackhead. Hooked a scan tool up to my truck, and since it wasn't throwing codes (yeah, imagine that, the truck is running APPARENTLY on 2 cylinders, and it's not throwing a code!), so he didn't know what it could be. He told me the soonest he could get to my truck was Wednesday. Referred me to another mechanic, so off I was yet again down the road.
Turns out this "mechanic" was a Quick Lube grease monkey. Got the truck in their shop, and they immediately thought "Bad Wires". On a spark test, it showed all the drivers side cylinders dead, and one on the pass side dead.
So, the guy takes out one plug, looks at it thouroughly, smells it, then puts it back in. Does it twice more, and then he moves on to a compression test.
HE TESTED ONE MOTHER ****ING CYLINDER! ONE! It was 110. He said it was fine.
Moving on, he decides to fiddle dick some more. This is when the shop manager comes up and starts discussing prices. $78 an hour for the guys to do nothing but tell me what it COULD be, and not do anything else. I asked when was the soonest they could start to actually work on it, and they said Monday. So, I paid $70 for them to say that it could be my valve train, and moved on.
Went to the closest gas station, and called the sister asking to come get me. They planned on getting a trailer, but the guy wasn't home. This is when I just started calling people, Shane included, to pass the time.
After the phone call with Shane, I was sitting in my truck listening to tunes and keeping warm. All of a sudden, BANG! Immediate thought: "Some dude just got his *** capped!". Then, another. Investigation was in order. So, I grab the keys out of the ignition, lock the door, and walk down to the street.
Turns out, it was just some sort of celebration.
Now, if you guys are paying attention, you'll realize my mistake here.
Walking back to the truck, realization hit me square in the face. I just locked myself out of my truck. The door key was off my key ring, and my hide a key was in the center console.
So, I walk to the front of the building. And guess who is there? The quick lube guy. In a tow truck.
I walk over to him and ask him if he's got a slim jim. He says, yeah, but I have to charge for that. I was trying to talk him into doing it for free, but there was no chance: the guy was a dick. So, I asked how much. He replied with "$100".
I replied with a one finger salute.
So, right at this point, I want to ****ing shoot myself. I am in a town I know nothing about, my wallet is in the truck, my phone is in the truck, I only had on my stocking hat and a sweater, and I was ****ing thirsty. However, I did have the keys to my tool box, which led me to start thinking of breaking into my truck.
I unlock the box, and start looking it over. "I could break a window with my Mag Lite, or my drill". Then, I remember, I have a sliding glass window.
So there it is, in my tool box tray: a flathead screw driver. A quick second, and the back window was opened. But, by swearing and kicking ****, I attracted a crowd of onlookers. They all watched as I crawled through the back window to get into my truck, which I immediately shut the window, and turned the truck on with the heater full blast, and the truck still running like absolute dog ****. All I could do was laugh at myself.
Sister finally showed up, her boyfriend looked over my truck, and he said we could start working on it tomorrow. So, we went and got some grub, and then my dad calls and says he is on his way. I tried telling him we could work on it, but he said he already got a dolly, so he would be there soon.
You all want to know the kicker of this entire story? I was 75 MILES FROM MY SISTERS HOUSE! So, I stayed the night there, and met up with the fam this morning (mom came along).
Anyway, here are some pictures I took of the truck. Just out of sheer boredom.
And, since everybody loves flex shots:
Why is there a plumber working on my truck?
One of the straps was loose, so when we were about to fix it, the truck decided it didn't want to be dollied anymore. As soon as tension came off of the strap, the truck rolled. Nobody was injured, but my dads butt crack did split my side.