Really Good racing story!!! LOL - Ranger-Forums - The Ultimate Ford Ranger Resource


General Ford Ranger Discussion General discussion of the Ford Ranger that does not fit in any other sub-forum.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 06-23-2007
Austin1's Avatar
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Athens, Ohio
Posts: 359
Really Good racing story!!! LOL

I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3 cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock, alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of Metro around with authority. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by surprise...
I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it black"), when I stopped at a traffic light. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my bold beverage and wiped the white froth from my stiff upper lip. I was minding my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane.

I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition. Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure.

The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am **************** cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of seven screaming cylinders...

Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke poured from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his .7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the ugly truth...

He was running a custom exhaust -- probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust... maybe even cutouts! **************** his hot-rod soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our boy-racer direction...

Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead, now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke.

Not ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel almost chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We careened over the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us, but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.

He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a little to take the next corner.

I saw my opportunity, and counting on the inate agility of my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva!

The Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the outside, my P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my driving gloves, ready for another round, when this wimp in the next car meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority reigns!!!

I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking for other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, Samauri, or maybe even a VW Vanagon!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-23-2007
Level III Supporter
iTrader: (2)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 24,936
OMG LOL... nice man
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-23-2007
bricesedge03's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: columbia sc
Posts: 388
wow, that was a good story
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-23-2007
DangaRanger99's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Farmington, NH
Posts: 1,209
I just laughed so hard
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-23-2007
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
Posts: 65
Too bad my brother totaled my Festiva, ide totally race you!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-23-2007
b3kbruiser's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DFW Area, Tx
Posts: 713
Want to go in against my Camino? :-p
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-23-2007
Hanzo Steel's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aurora, Co/SFV, Ca.
Posts: 593
lol, nice story.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-24-2007
Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico
Posts: 323
wow that story is great i think we found the story line for the nexxt fast and the furious movie. wow now that is a great imagination. i love the story bro.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 06-24-2007
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 248
haha nice. if u really wrote that youve got some talent. amazingly useless talent lol, jk
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 06-24-2007
BBBB51's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Alb. N.M.
Posts: 213
U should be a writer . That was good lol
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-24-2007
Austin1's Avatar
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Athens, Ohio
Posts: 359
unfortunately I can't claim credit for it, I got that from another forum.

too funny to pass up though!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-24-2007
htjunkie's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 1,286
LMFAO!!!! Ialmost pee'd my pants!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-24-2007
JoshK's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: CC, Indiana
Posts: 3,832
Lmao Hahahahahhahahaha
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-24-2007
Snowboard101's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: CT
Posts: 130
10/10 that was histerical
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-25-2007
Cody_288's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Oil City, PA, Pittsfield, PA
Posts: 511
Was that from svtperformance? They get some good ones over there.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 06-25-2007
Rooks's Avatar
Member
iTrader: (7)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,867
Haha... unlimited slip differential. Haha....
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 06-25-2007
My91Ranger's Avatar
Member
iTrader: (1)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Roseville, Michigan
Posts: 2,252
LMFAO I think I just lost my job from laughing so hard....
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-25-2007
gatorblue92's Avatar
RF Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 8,238
great story... i have seen the mercedes 240D version which is just as funny
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 06-25-2007
Austin1's Avatar
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Athens, Ohio
Posts: 359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cody_288
Was that from svtperformance? They get some good ones over there.
nope, Z28.com
I know its the enemy, but its also my car so....
I'm on a split fence
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 06-25-2007
Random Hero's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 47
i just teared a little bit. great find!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-25-2007
thesoundmaster's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Centennial CO
Posts: 5
Holy crap that was funny!!!! The sad thing is, my cousin used to attempt to race a festiva for the fun of it, never serious about it, but thats ok
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-27-2007
93longbed's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 35
Where'd I put my '89 Escort Pony?
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-27-2007
EljayK004's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 224
That was AWESOME. I laughed at the first line and could barely finish it 'cause I was laughing so hard.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 06-27-2007
bryanjints's Avatar
Member
iTrader: (1)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Mount Holly, NJ
Posts: 1,857
amazing. I just crapped myself reading that...well I am sitting on the toilet so I don't know if that counts as crapping yourself. But I was laughing so hard the crap came out easier.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 06-28-2007
Bentley's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Billings MT
Posts: 1,722
great story reminds me of when i did that with my old 96 chevy cav against the ford escort or probes that are up here.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
POSSIBLY THE FUNNIEST STORY EVER TO BE TOLD ON ranger-forums.com!!! READ FOR LOL's RodeoBum09 General Ford Ranger Discussion 46 09-02-2009 10:11 PM
race story!! lol 94DangerRAnger General Ford Ranger Discussion 73 11-08-2008 01:34 PM
Racing harness w/o racing seats? jtslmn720 New Ideas 15 07-17-2006 09:12 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:31 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.